


Every Other Word

by ryleighjosephinne



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Male-Female Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:15:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29768499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryleighjosephinne/pseuds/ryleighjosephinne
Summary: Derek's been talking a lot lately about Penelope, so much that thinking back on your conversations with him you're realizing he's in love with her.Mainly uses OG BAU team, but does have some members from other seasons as well. AKA my favorites are all here and the ones I don't like are not.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Emily Prentiss, Derek Morgan/Reader, Penelope Garcia/Derek Morgan
Kudos: 2





	Every Other Word

Something had been happening a lot lately in your conversations with Derek Morgan, you realize one afternoon. This is not a typical afternoon; no, this afternoon Hotch and Emily are getting married. Which meant everyone on the BAU team was dressed in their fanciest (and hottest; what, there was a possible hot person there and Spencer looked especially good today- not the point) clothes for this occasion. 

"Y/N, have you seen Penelope today?" Morgan asks, whistling under his breath. "She looks fantastic."

Oh great, here we go again, you think. Go figure, another afternoon full of the guy discussing how Penelope Garcia looks. She's hot, you agree, but still. This guy has been talking about her so much lately it's annoying you. "Yes, Derek, I've seen her. She looks nice." He laughs and you prepare yourself for his rant.

He does not disappoint. "Nice? Y/N, you do have eyes, right? Look at her! She looks fucking amazing and you're here saying she just looks nice. Nice! That is a disservice to how great that woman looks. Stop insulting her good looks and start looking!" At his insistence, you look at the blonde, who's dressed in her typical crazy fashion that Derek's incredibly attracted to; a multicolored dress, pink cardigan, very large hat that kind of reminds you of both a fedora and a top hat at the same time but it's in pink, bright pink heels and earrings that actually have the words I Do on them. "See that? It's a damned mystery of the universe that she doesn't have a date to this thing. I mean, look how hot she looks."

"She looks hot as hell, I'll admit," you agree with your friend, who smiles. "You know who looks even better, though?" Derek's eyes look like they're about to bulge out of his head at the thought someone could look hotter than the blonde, but you continue anyways, "Spencer. Look at that dude. Him not having a date is a mystery."

"Pretty boy? I mean, he's pretty, but he's a massive nerd. Not exactly a magnet for the ladies."

"Ah yes, all women are attracted to muscly men like you who only play sports and don't have enough brain cells to do calculus."

"Are you saying you're not into me? Alright, that's offensive."

"Between you and Spencer," you let a breath pass through your lips as he glares at you, "I'd say Spencer is hotter."

"Yeah, well between you and Penelope Garcia, I can safely say, without a doubt, Penelope is about fifty thousand times hotter than you are." That was.. mildly offensive. Of course, you've gotten used to the man constantly talking about his babygirl and gushing over how hot she looked (it was every word out of his fucking mouth for gods sakes) every single time he saw her but for some reason he didn't do anything about it. 

As soon as the idea sparks in your mind, a devious grin crosses your face and he groans, "I know that look. What are you plotting? It better not be some plot to seduce Penelope or I may have to punch you."

A chuckle leaves your mouth, "Don't you have some rule of honor against hitting women?"

"Forgot you were one for a minute," Derek says, voice turning seductive as he inches closer to you. It's very difficult being friends with, well, with a Derek Morgan. The thing flirts with everyone he sees that catches his eye. 

"Funny. Back away or I'll break your arm." When he just laughs, you move your arm to show you'll do it. "Don't make me hurt you, Derek Morgan. I hate to think of what would happen to your super muscles if I broke your arm." Despite holding contact for a few extra seconds, he backs away with just a kiss to your cheek. "I'll let that slide, this time."

"Most women would've jumped at the opportunity to be with me, you know," Derek laughs and you cross your arms, looking at Penelope who appears to be ogling him at that very moment. 

"Speaking of, look at three o'clock. One of your many fans."

The amount of blush that comes across both of their faces can't be healthy, though Derek quickly corrects his expression to be one he assumes, you'd guess, is seductive. In reality, he looks like a puppy in love and it's adorable to see. "Aww, is Derek Morgan, playboy of the BAU, in love?" You tease but it's like you don't even get through to him. "Hello? Earth to Derek? Morgan? You gonna respond or am I going to have to strip to get your attention?"

Of course that's what gets him to zone into the world, disgustingly. "Still wouldn't get my attention. Now, if Penelope was to do that, completely different story." A quick role of your eyes signifies he should shut up but he doesn't because he's Derek Morgan and shutting up doesn't happen when it involves him and his semi permanent moon eyes at Penelope Garcia, a woman who's very attractive and got him completely wrapped around his finger. "Besides, I thought you wanted to have a thing with pretty boy, not me. Because, I'm sorry but-"

"Alright, first off, I'd much prefer Spencer strip here than you. And secondly, I was just trying to get your attention. Figured you wouldn't want the entire BAU to know you're in love with Garcia, not that it's any kind of a secret."

"Good luck. Reid's very private about that stuff." You know. It doesn't make it easy to figure out if someone's into you when that someone's Spencer Reid. "I could ask him, though." You nod against that instantly. "What? You're aware that just because he's pretty doesn't mean that he's some form of saint who doesn't discuss women who he's attracted to, correct?"

"Shut up, moon eyes," you shoot back and he glares at you.

"Moon eyes?"

"I should record it when you're doing anything involving Penelope, shouldn't I? Idiot, you're not being seductive, you're making moon eyes. It's adorable."

"I am not making moon eyes anymore than you do with Reid."

"I'm very well aware I make them at Reid and that's the point, dumbass. Don't take that as a compliment about your ass either, you horny as hell man." Honestly, how dumb is Morgan?

"I'm taking it as a compliment towards my beautiful body that women cannot resist."

"This woman can. Penelope, however, can't. So go flirt with her and leave me to my Reid watching."

"That's called stalking."

"Shut up!"


End file.
